Filling Up Your Cup

Today, I want to talk a bit about self-care.  It’s something that is so important to well-being, and I’m sure something that we could all use a little (or a lot) more of, especially these days.  In addition to COVID-19 and our political environment, we are all dealing with our everyday lives:  work, family obligations, taking care of our homes, and other tasks.  While we are so busy tending to all of these things and other people’s needs, we often forget to take care of ourselves.  We end up on the back burner and then we end up burned out, sometimes becoming bitter and angry.  Well this is to remind you that you can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill that sucker up!

“Self Care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.”

-Katie Reed

Now that you have been reminded to fill your own cup, what does that even mean?  Well for me, filling my own cup means to invest in myself and add in the things that make my life rich and enjoyable.  It means doing things that bring me peace and happiness.  By filling my own cup, I am able to pour more into my work, my family, my home, and my overall well-being.  How do I fill my cup?  One of the ways I do this is through meditation.  I have found that guided meditations are a great way for me to calm my mind and my worries, whether a quick 5-minute session before a stressful meeting or a longer session that lulls me to sleep at night.  There are several free apps that can be of great help.  My favorite is the  Insight Timer. 

Another way to calm my mind and my nerves is journaling.  I have been journaling off and on since grade school.  For me, this helps to get all of those rambling thoughts out of my head to make room for productive, happy thoughts.  My entries are not always long and detailed.  Sometimes, they are just quick notes that I jot down so that I can revisit them later when I have more time to ponder and reflect.  It is also quite interesting to revisit journal entries years later.  It helps to reflect on where I’ve been, how I’ve grown, and where I need to continue to work on myself.  I prefer to journal in a pretty, blank, lined book that you can usually find in bookstores.  Some folks prefer journals that have prompts to help organize thoughts and ideas.  While I usually keep my thoughts private, there are times where it’s helpful for me to share my entries with my husband, sometimes for validation and sometimes just so he can understand my thought process.

The kitchen is also a place of refuge and restoration for me (surprising, right?).  When I am stressed, angry or have had a rough day, a few hours cooking usually brings me back to center.  I think focusing on cooking tasks redirects my thoughts and distracts me from whatever is bothering me, but cooking is also a creative outlet for me.  Many times, I don’t even grab a recipe; I either cook things that I have made many times before and don’t need a recipe or I just grab ingredients and have my own personal version of the show Chopped.  Either way, it’s a win-win situation.  I end up feeling better and my family usually has something delicious to eat.

Last but not least, one of my favorite forms of self-care is spending time with my favorite people.  In non-COVID times, I usually have plenty of plans on my calendar to spend with my best girlfriends.  Sometimes, it’s a day trip to a winery, brunch or just hanging out at someone’s house.  Sometimes, it’s packing a bag and catching a flight to Vegas to see Lady Gaga or to Nashville to hit up honky tonks and the Grand Ole Opry.  I love my husband and kids dearly, but sometimes, you have to get back to that person that you were before you became Mommy or Wifey.  And that brief time away makes me a better wife and a better mom.  I also enjoy date night with my husband, who is my best friend on Earth.  We try to make time for Happy Hour on Friday night at our favorite spot or leave the kids home and run errands together.  No matter what, we make sure that we steal away a little time for just us.  It’s so important and I think a lot of other couples overlook that private time spent together.  And, of course, spending time together with our kids as a family is important too.  It’s great to be able to shut off the rest of the world and go for a hike, play a very competitive game of Jenga or Uno, or just sit and laugh at ridiculous things.  

Whether you like to do the same things that I do or if you have your own ideas of how to fill your own cup, just make sure that you are doing it on a regular basis.  Some folks like yoga, working out, crafting or other activities.  Some like napping or spending time in nature.  Whatever it takes, just make sure that you make yourself a priority.  Self-care is not selfish, it’s a necessity in order to be the best version of yourself. If putting yourself first every now and then is a challenge, find an accountability partner that will remind you to do it.  Or schedule it on your calendar.   And if you think that you are suffering from anxiety, depression or something more, please don’t be afraid to ask for help.  I’ve seen a few therapists in my life and after I lost my mother, I sought the help of a grief counselor to help me find myself again.  She was amazing and gave me words that I constantly remind myself of: “Allow yourself some grace and be gentle on yourself.”  I hope those words stick with you as they have stuck with me.  Now go and fill that cup!